Browne Shines Again As Balaga Bash Mercer

Last Wednesday evening saw a great performance from the whole Balaga squad to get the 3 points, but its Rory Browne who received the most praise after playing out of his tanned skin.

After a 2 week hiatus for recuperation, ie champions league and long weekend boozing, Balaga Tongo proved too good for a solid Mercer outfit. Missing Kevin Broderick due to him frolicking some gaff in Italy, and with the squad heavily attack minded, management had to bring in some defensive replacements. Last seasons rookie of the year and cafu wannabe John Duggan was drafted in as cover and for his Summer testimonial before jetting off to cape cod. Skinty was also called upon at the last minute as O Callagahan was being a drama queen with his blue ankle. So the starting line up was as below...


The first half was pretty tentative, an even amount of possession id say but Mercer were making the better chances. Kennedy and the defense had this under control though for most of it but with Duggan twisting his ankle after 5 minutes the starting line up didn't last long. Parker came on to replace him, playing out of position the rugged playmaker looked like a seasoned centre half. With Skinty available and Duggans injury short term (about 15minutes before getting crippled for another 15 after crashing through the side nettingsssz) there wasn't much to worry about as not much was really happening except for Mercers nippy forward causing some problems and getting a hacking from the cucumber defenders. But alas, bammm, Mercer scored from a long range effort, Kennedy getting caught out but maybe the Mercer player should of never got his shot off!

1-0 at half time but the Tongolese were not looking worried, except webz who didn't even want his photo taken. They knew that if they got the ball down and up to the attacking palyers in a manner where they could control it, they would score.

And Score they did. A couple of minutes in Browne got the ball outside the Mercer box and fired a missile of a shot at the goal and the ball went straight between the keepers legs (who had just gone in at half time). The second followed pretty soon after, Browne again was one on one with the last defender as O'Driscoll made a run on the right to draw the defender away as Rory stepped to his left and poked it into the bottom corner... NICE... Then David W added the third as Browne was involved again - taking the ball down from a kick out - then putting the ball over about 3 feens heads with solos before squaring to David W to finish it off.

Then the fourth came as Balaga were looking unstoppable, a Balaga break away, Browne was on the ball around the half way line and with O Driscoll running into space Browne called "nuts" as he slotted the ball under the players testicles and as u might guess through his legs aswell O Driscoll got to the ball before the on-rushing keeper and popped it past him. Ehhhhhhhhhh sickkkk!!! Rory then decided to score another one to make it five and give him his hat-trick(feel free to comment below if U do remember detail). Webz then continued his fine scoring run as he latched onto a Browne cross shot to slide the ball home and make it 6-1 to the Cucumbers. David W then topped off another fine performance in the Tongolese colours, having possession about 14.7 yards out on the right, he smashed a beautiful placed shot into the top of the net, then proceeded to do a comical/acrobatic/career threatening flip onto his back while no doubt shouting ZOOOOOOOOO... He came off soon afterwards but the game was over anyway and Balaga won it 7-2. With all the excitement I cant even remember the 2nd Mercer goal!

So Browne got 3 goals and at least 3 assists and even if he only played that game should retain the MVP award. But all credit couldn't go to the stand out player as all the Balaga stars had excellent games O Callaghan and Parker were ripping shreds out of ankles and not giving anyone time on the ball, Parker got a yellow for one such late challenge. Skinty was superb and solid as a rock in his Balaga debut. Damo Kennedy was brilliant despite finding out his Balaga career could be under threat due to contract finance difficulties. Duggan in his cape cod testimonial was solid as ever, probably would of scored if he wasn't hampered by the gods trying to kill his ankles. Then David W , O Driscoll and Webz all worked their socks off and got the goals they deserved.... AWESOME.

Elsewhere in the league the Cowboys put 6 past Premier Auto, Douglas Mortgage beat Balaga Tongos next opponents Bare-Arse 5-3 and old rivals the Upsetters got a 3-2 victory over Rosies keeping them top of the table by 1 GD. This leaves the table as follows before gameweek 4...


And as mentioned Balagas fourth game is against Bare-Arse-elona, an unknown quantity in the league, but if the Mercer game was anything to go by, and Balaga come out with thte same spirit, there will be no problems in despatching them!!! PS thanks Philip for telling me what happened!