Balaga Scrape Past Bare Arses

After Last weeks loss to Mercer Balaga needed a win to keep their lead at the top of the footy.ie Wed Div 2 league. Not the best display from Balaga but a much better performance saw the Tongolese Club get the three points last night.

With Skinty, the most used sub up to this point, out with a drunken broken leg injury, Spring Rookie of Year JD, John Duggan, couldn't of come home from the states at a better time. Signing back to FC Balaga Tongo for the rest of the season.

With nobody else missing the 7 starting players and 2 subs were as follows...


The game began with Balaga having more of the possession. Some tough challenges from the Bare arsed main striker had the defense slightly rattled and when O Callaghan gave away a needless free kick on the edge of the area, revenge gone wrong. The striker duly punished with a well taken strike. But then he got a bit too big for his boots as he bowwwled O'Driscoll over the side-netting and about 5 yards into the neighbouring pitch. Straight sin bin for what was a dangerous challenge, 7 V 6 it was. Soon after O'Driscoll got his revenge and scored a beaut of a goal recieving the ball about 10 yard out he smacked it into the bottom corner to make it 1-1.

Balaga continued their pressure with Duggan on and causing problems. O'Driscoll again was at the brunt of the Arses agression as he was flung into the nets again and another yellow card followed. But again O'Driscoll got his own back going clear of Bare Arses defense he cooly slotted the ball down the middle with the keeper diving to his left. 2-1 Balaga, Yesss O'D baiiiiiiiii!!! More pressure came and Browne was trying hard to find his early season goal scoring form as he fired in shots only to see them hit the woodwork.

Second Half and Balaga knew they could win if they kept at it and kept the ball on the ground as much as possible. The intensity of the first half wasn't found again but they're was some chances for both sides. O' Callaghan received a tame yellow when he came through the back of the Bare Arse Striker. But Balaga held on when under pressure with Broderick and Damo playing well for the whole game. Then Parker hounding down the ball like a rabid ratt man and winning it off the keeper and sexily back heeled it into the net with style. The onlooking fan, Greener, was seen in raptures as his favourite Balaga man scored his 8th of the season. Bare Arse then got their second through some bad defending and inability to get rid of the ball when it needed to be got rid of. This made the last 5 minutes a bit more exciting but Balaga didn't look like giving the game away, hungry for their first taste of silverware!

Second placed Mercer also scraped a win with the same scoreline to keep pressure on Balaga. In the other game Rosies got a great 4-0 win over AutoParts to keep their name in thirdplace. The Next weeks opponents Upsetters also proved they are not out of the chase as they thumped Callas 8-2.

Match Highlights Starting with O'Driscolls beaut of a first!

Balaga shown no mercy

This was a Hugh game for Balaga, and a full squad to pick from for the first time in weeks gave them planty of confidence. Team Line out:



An excelent early goal from Tom O'C gave the cucumbers even more confidence, perhaps their downfall, as they eventually went in 3-1 down and totally outplayed by Mercer. It was hard to believe that these were both the same teams that met earlier in the league, a match Balaga won 7-2.

Second half began and things started to look up, as a well taken goal from Balaga top goalscorer Webz, brought the score to a catch able 3-2. A tactic of quick quality ball to the Mercer front man was working well for them unlike Balaga who again and again just gave easy ball away.

After this Balaga fell apart and deserved to lose the game in the finish to a score of 8-2..... Balaga just didn't turn up. From front to back they didn't perform. Lets hope next weeks match against Bare-Arses will yeild a better performance and result, and rebuild the shock confidence.

Balaga service Premier Auto Parts

Gameweek 9 and Balaga faced Premier Auto Parts for the 2nd time of the season. The last meeting saw Balaga run out 12-4, but an Auto Parts victory over Mercer last week would suggest a different match this time. Balaga were without captain Tom O'C due to work duties again but at least Damo was back in goals. Rory still had issues with his back so started from the bench alongside debutant Paul Dawson, brought in to cover Rory. Skinty was back in the Balaga defense to fill the gap left by Toms absence.

Team line out:



Things seemed to be looking up for Balaga as Auto Parts could only field 6 players and full advantage was taken of this with early goals from Webz and Parker.

GOAL!!! Webz's first goal was a fine individual effort. After collecting the ball Webz rounding 1 player and squeezed it through two other players to poke it in the far corner. Webz - "I don't usually get many good ones so its nice for them to be acknowledged.." Balaga 1-0 Auto Parts. Parker was soon afterwards warned by the ref after tackling Auto's defender, who made sure the ref and the barman serving drinks heard his scream. This didn't turn out to be his last time he picked himself up from the ground, as he didn't appear to be too up to date with the no slide tackle rule.

GOAL!!! Balaga made it 2-0 thanks to a great finish from Parker where smashed it from far out.. BEAUT! Balaga 2-0 Auto Parts. Soon after this Auto's got their 7th man, a player who had just scored about 6 or 7 goals for a division 1 side just prior to this match. It would have been handy if Balaga knew this from his inclusion because before they knew it Auto Parts were level 2-2 thanks to 2 goals from the new recruit.

GOAL!!! Once Balaga stepped it up again and stopped dropping deep they began to create chances once more, and it wasn't long before new boy Dawson put Balaga back into the lead for the second time with a fine strike from far out. Balaga Tongo 3-2 Auto Parts. Frustratingly for Tongo though, Auto's recruited young fella got his and Auto's third of the half with a sweet left footed finish. After this Dave W decided to man mark the player which defensively began to yield results for Balaga, as in they didn't concede anymore before half time!

The second half was a much easier affair for Balaga, who finally seemed to get a grip on the danger areas from Auto Parts. Skinty was doing a masterful job on their hot head up front who was heard bitching and moaning under his breath as he wasn't given an inch all night by the Balaga stand in. Broderick was also dealing with their flash fella out the left wing who eventually ripped his top open in frustration at losing the ball out the wing.

YELLOW CARD!!! Auto's Olympic diver was shown the 10 minute road after another sliding tackle, about his 4th of the game.

GOAL!!! Soon afterword's, a sliding tackle from another head the ball in Auto's defense allowed Balaga to go back into the lead via a peno. Phil gracefully stepped up and slotted home the resulting spotter. Balaga Tongo 4-3 Auto Parts.

GOAL!!! Balaga made it 5 from a well taken goal by webz. It was training ground corner, if Balaga actually trained it would be anyway. Phil passed it to to webz on the front post and he bundled it in his typical Webz style!! Balaga Tongo 5-3 Auto Parts.


Dave was doing a masterful job of man marking, so close that even Auto's danger man had Whiftys blood on him, what with Dave stuck to him all night. Webz swapped the job of holding the midfield with Dave and still managed to score 2 goals. He now equals Rory with goals scored for Balaga this season. Rory had a quite night by his standards, but that's not to say he was quite! A constant torn in Auto's side, alongside Dawson, who proved to be a great inclusion, scoring one and controlling the midfield at times. Once more Parker was his usual Tevez self cropping up with a goal and hounding anything that moved in the Auto team. The same can be said for Phil who was up front from the start but fell back into midfield later in the match to spray around the passes to any Balaga runners. Damo had a steady night in goals, after blaming himself for the first goal conceded, he didn't put a foot wrong after that.

There was great news for Balaga after the match as reports came through that second placed Upsetters, failed to get a victory over douglasmortage.ie and fell 6 points behind. Mercers victory means Balaga are now 4 points clear at the top with 5 matches left to play.

Cowboys Keep Cucumbers Quiet

Back to almost full strength, FC Balaga Tongo failed to finish off their opponents in a low scoring draw with Callas Cowboys last night in Garryduff.

Team news before the game was all good except for word that regular Balaga stopper Damo Kennedy would be out again and maybe for a few more weeks with his Rib injury. Skinty was called and would fill in as goalkeeper for the night. The starting line up, infront of a new low of 0 fans, was as follows...

Balaga had the lions share of possession from the off, but the cowboys were no pushovers, defending well and repeatedly trying to catch the Tongolese with fast breakaways and balls over the top of Broderick and O' Callaghan. These were dealt with but about half way through the first half they were able to scramble past the defense and the striker had a one on one with Skinty, the stand in keeper reacted quickly but a swave meg finish put Callas 1-0 up.

Shocked by this, Balaga pushed on again but were being again frustrated with staunch defending, corner upon throw upon shot were had but to no avail, and the half time whistle blew.

The second half started off like the first, the players talked about a bit more urgency but things just weren't coming off for the Tongolese. Then about half way through the second half O' Callaghan struck a volley from about a 1/2 yard out after Webz spotted his run from a throw in. The match was then there for the taking but both teams were finding eachother hard to break down as Balaga struggled to handle the Callas forward, keith it think, and Skinty was called into action a few times while Browne, Webz, David W , O' Driscoll and Parker all couldnt get the ball in the net despite a good few chances.

So the game ended a dull 1-1, and in the stats it will go down as the clubs best defensive performance and worst attacking performance. The result keeps Balaga on top of the league with Upsetters moving 3 points behind in 2nd after beating Bare-Arse 5-2. Mercer lost to Premier Auto Parts 3-2 leaving them a further point behind in third. Rosies and DouglasMortgage played out a 2-2 draw to stay in 4th and 5th respectively. How callas are third from bottom is a mystery.


So 1 point is better than none but not half as good as 3, i did the maths, and Balaga Tongo will have to be fully commited next week to take the 3 from Premier Auto Parts who have in recent matches found some form and maybe a new player or two. 6 more wins and the title will be in Tongolese hands, but theres a hell of a lot of ball to be played yet.

Balaga deny Mortgage

Match day 7 and the season midpoint had arrived for the cucumbers, and again, they were players short. Concerts appear to be distracting or mutilating Balaga members 1 by 1. Damo was again out due an incident nvolving his ribs and four scumbags after a prodigy gig. Phil will never be forgiven for taking the night out to watch a LADY GAGA gig!!! For shame Phillip, and Rory was out due to a back injury. He was at an AC/DC gig the previous weekend so perhaps a crowd surfing mishap might be the reason.


Anywhooo, due to a breakdown in communication, Skinty was informed 5 minutes before kickoff that he was in goals, so Broderick was once more asked to play stick. Two deputies in Sam Tyrrell and Alan O’Sullivan were brought in to replace Phil and Rory so Balaga had just the bare 7 to play.


Here's the formation:



Captain Tom O’C was back for Balaga after a two week absentee, and because Broderick was needed in goals, Parker was asked to move into defence as cover. The match kicked off and it was pretty obvious from the start that the ref had more than a football interest in douglasmortage.ie. Perhaps he has an interview coming up over a possible mortage, or just hates Balaga(very possible), but every single call went the way of Douglas, except for one early on when he gave a throw to Balaga on their left wing.

GOAL!!! Whifty took it I think, lobbing it onto new boy Alan, who turned, ran at the defence, then past them before coolly slotting it past the keeper. Sam Tyrrell might have been involved in the move as well. 1-0.

GOAL!!! Whify made it 2-0 on the night after parker won it back in defense and played it wide to webz who waited for Dave to make his run and then put it between two douglas men and onto Whifys chest/side which he used to flip the ball in front of him and tap it forward, with the defenders in pursuit the whole way. Dave rounded the keeper and placed a nice low rocket into the corner. 2-0.
GOAL!!! Sam marked his debut with a goal which will never be remembered, but it was probably sexy as! 3-0.

GOAL!!! Douglas lamped a worthless hoof up the pitch which was heading out for a goal kick, but for some reason only known to Broderick, decided to handle it outside his box. As quick as lightening the ref spotted an advantage for douglasmortage.ie and promptly awarded the free kick, from which they scored to make it 3-1.

YELLOW!!! Douglas began to exert some pressure and gladly took every free kick and throw in given to them, and after their Drogba impersonating defender took a dive at the feet of the punisher, the ref had no trouble in quickly issuing the yellow card to the Balaga captain. Unfortunately for the official, douglas didn’t score from the resulting free kick.

GOAL!!! Shortly afterward's the diving defender got on the score sheet, with a right foot shot past the keeper, the ankle seemingly no worse for ware.

GOAL!!! Balaga made it 4-2 with a neat finish from Webz after a corner kick from Dave. Webz : "Cant member the rest to be honest just pointing out that bit to point out my finish made daves corner look gud and it was my through ball that made dave goal look gud."

HALF TIME 4-2 Balaga

Second half began with Balaga back to full strength, and after a moan at half time about the ref, started where they left off. A crowd of 5 turned up to watch the game with new #1 fan, Damo's bird in the stands along with Damo and Rory who turned up to watch how their teammates got on.

GOAL!!! David W has made a big impression during his first season and scored his 9th of the season mid way through the second half. Dave - "my second was a bicycle kick (spoof),ball was loose in the box (gaf was crowded) landed to me on the edge of box and i neatly placed the ball between two defenders legs and the keeper (rasper of a goal)" 5-2.

GOAL!!! Another dubious free kick awarded to douglas resulted in another goal from the mortage heads. Balaga will have to improve on their defense for corners and free kicks, but in fairness, their unlikly to get as many awarded against them again for a while, so the ratio of goals conceded to free's/corners given wasn't all that bad.

GOAL!!! Sam Tyrrell rounded off a great debut with the goal of the night, he picked the ball up in the right back position, ran over to the left, and forward, pasted a few douglas midfielders and defenders before finding the net Diego Maradonna style, although a deflection was called it was still a fecking class goal.

Besides a very dodgy ref, which i cant emphasize enough, Balaga had this game sorted early on, and once more look like their back on track for the league title. Other results saw Mercer keep in touch with a 10-1 victory over league whipping boys Bare-Arse-Alona.