Balaga deny Mortgage

Match day 7 and the season midpoint had arrived for the cucumbers, and again, they were players short. Concerts appear to be distracting or mutilating Balaga members 1 by 1. Damo was again out due an incident nvolving his ribs and four scumbags after a prodigy gig. Phil will never be forgiven for taking the night out to watch a LADY GAGA gig!!! For shame Phillip, and Rory was out due to a back injury. He was at an AC/DC gig the previous weekend so perhaps a crowd surfing mishap might be the reason.


Anywhooo, due to a breakdown in communication, Skinty was informed 5 minutes before kickoff that he was in goals, so Broderick was once more asked to play stick. Two deputies in Sam Tyrrell and Alan O’Sullivan were brought in to replace Phil and Rory so Balaga had just the bare 7 to play.


Here's the formation:



Captain Tom O’C was back for Balaga after a two week absentee, and because Broderick was needed in goals, Parker was asked to move into defence as cover. The match kicked off and it was pretty obvious from the start that the ref had more than a football interest in douglasmortage.ie. Perhaps he has an interview coming up over a possible mortage, or just hates Balaga(very possible), but every single call went the way of Douglas, except for one early on when he gave a throw to Balaga on their left wing.

GOAL!!! Whifty took it I think, lobbing it onto new boy Alan, who turned, ran at the defence, then past them before coolly slotting it past the keeper. Sam Tyrrell might have been involved in the move as well. 1-0.

GOAL!!! Whify made it 2-0 on the night after parker won it back in defense and played it wide to webz who waited for Dave to make his run and then put it between two douglas men and onto Whifys chest/side which he used to flip the ball in front of him and tap it forward, with the defenders in pursuit the whole way. Dave rounded the keeper and placed a nice low rocket into the corner. 2-0.
GOAL!!! Sam marked his debut with a goal which will never be remembered, but it was probably sexy as! 3-0.

GOAL!!! Douglas lamped a worthless hoof up the pitch which was heading out for a goal kick, but for some reason only known to Broderick, decided to handle it outside his box. As quick as lightening the ref spotted an advantage for douglasmortage.ie and promptly awarded the free kick, from which they scored to make it 3-1.

YELLOW!!! Douglas began to exert some pressure and gladly took every free kick and throw in given to them, and after their Drogba impersonating defender took a dive at the feet of the punisher, the ref had no trouble in quickly issuing the yellow card to the Balaga captain. Unfortunately for the official, douglas didn’t score from the resulting free kick.

GOAL!!! Shortly afterward's the diving defender got on the score sheet, with a right foot shot past the keeper, the ankle seemingly no worse for ware.

GOAL!!! Balaga made it 4-2 with a neat finish from Webz after a corner kick from Dave. Webz : "Cant member the rest to be honest just pointing out that bit to point out my finish made daves corner look gud and it was my through ball that made dave goal look gud."

HALF TIME 4-2 Balaga

Second half began with Balaga back to full strength, and after a moan at half time about the ref, started where they left off. A crowd of 5 turned up to watch the game with new #1 fan, Damo's bird in the stands along with Damo and Rory who turned up to watch how their teammates got on.

GOAL!!! David W has made a big impression during his first season and scored his 9th of the season mid way through the second half. Dave - "my second was a bicycle kick (spoof),ball was loose in the box (gaf was crowded) landed to me on the edge of box and i neatly placed the ball between two defenders legs and the keeper (rasper of a goal)" 5-2.

GOAL!!! Another dubious free kick awarded to douglas resulted in another goal from the mortage heads. Balaga will have to improve on their defense for corners and free kicks, but in fairness, their unlikly to get as many awarded against them again for a while, so the ratio of goals conceded to free's/corners given wasn't all that bad.

GOAL!!! Sam Tyrrell rounded off a great debut with the goal of the night, he picked the ball up in the right back position, ran over to the left, and forward, pasted a few douglas midfielders and defenders before finding the net Diego Maradonna style, although a deflection was called it was still a fecking class goal.

Besides a very dodgy ref, which i cant emphasize enough, Balaga had this game sorted early on, and once more look like their back on track for the league title. Other results saw Mercer keep in touch with a 10-1 victory over league whipping boys Bare-Arse-Alona.