Thursday 25 March 2010

No charity for Friars as Balaga hit em for 9

After the Paddy's day break Tongo were back in action against bottom of the table side Frairs Walk Celtic. No slip up's for the cucumbers was the thoughts before the match and the 3 points should be gettable. Whifty was out due to work duties but other than that it was a full team...



1-0 FC Balaga Tongo
Balaga started brightly with JD Webz, Tristan and Parker commanding the Celtic back line, and it wasn't long before Tongo took a deserved lead through Tristan, who got the ball somewhere on the right, turned and scored..... i think!

2-0 FC Balaga Tongo
1 became 2 as once more Tristan collected the ball out the right and hit a low hard shot pas the keeper. Webz was lurking on the Frairs goal line and tapped it to guarantee the goal and take his tally to 11 for the season.

3-0 FC Balaga Tongo
JD got his first off the evening from a neatly taken volley with his right which the keeper swan dived at but missed. Soon afterwards Damo came to collect a ball in the box and got clattered into the back for some Frairs fella. The keeper was out for a few minutes but luckly for Balaga made a full recovery and was fit to play the rest of the match. The knock in the back did nothing to hinder his kick outs though as he was continuously finding his targets in midfield which was setting up plenty of chances for the Togolese attack.

4-0 FC Balaga Tongo
Balaga relaxed a bit after the third goal and both Tom and Kev started to make forward runs. Parker was doing a great job of dropping into the back line for cover whenever they did. On this particular occasion it was Kev's turn to venture up front. Webz collected the ball from a JD throw in, and nutmegged some feen to Kev. The Balaga defenders first touch was questionable, his second also questioned by Webz after the game, but I maintain it was pure class! He pushed the ball out to the right with a defender closing him down, fainted to shot with his left which burnt the Celtic defender and unleashed an unstoppable right footed into the Frairs net. The word "unstoppable" is used lighty here though as it wasn't the strongest of shots but the keepers calamity swan dive over the ball made it look half deacent!

5-0 FC Balaga Tongo
There was time for one more before the break, this time from star front man Phil O'D. Parker who was having a fine game, put phil free down the right. The big man let it run passed his Henry styleeeeeeee and smashed it into the bottom left across the goal! A one sided first half was called to an end with the only real Frairs effort coming from a free kick they rattled the crossbar with.

At the half time break Balaga found it hard to concentrate on tactics and instead commented on the lookers playing on pitch 3 as Plain White T's were getting mangled by Raiders in the ladies match. Evertually they got their heads back into the Tongo match and went out for the second half...

6-0 FC Balaga Tongo
The second half kicked off and soon enough put another score on the board. JD getting his second of the game from a corner from Phil.

7-0 FC Balaga Tongo
JD hat-trick!!! A super kick out from Damo landed at Tristans feet who found Phil one on one with the keeper. The striker unselfishly squared it to JD who had an empty goal to tap into.

8-0 FC Balaga Tongo
Goal numero eighto came from another corner. Phil probably took it. Webz describes it - "Corner, Scramble, ball in air, four yard volley, Goal". Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

9-0 FC Balaga Tongo
The final icing on the cake came from Phil once more. Webz once more describes it - ""Phil runs around 6 million feens (maybe 2 or 3) trys to pass it to duggan at the back post but the keeper intercepts and I smash it through the empty net. It proceeds to hit an orphan in the face and kills him!*".

*No orphans were killed during the playing of this match...

With all the goals described its time to mention that this was a momentous game for FC Balaga Tongo.... For about 10 seasons, 4 years or so they had never, NEVER managed a clean sheet. Big up the 3 bai's in defence, Damo, Tom, and Kev who have battled so long for that first 0, but none of it would have been achievable without the great work from the midfield and attack who always tracked back, a thank you must also go to the players parents for conceiving the team and Paul Scott who mangled Togo and Congo together to give FC Balaga Tongo its birth!

With douglas beating Abtran 12-2 and Ma Duleas kicking QEF's ass 9-1 the top couldn't be closer....

Friday 12 March 2010

Balaga Come Out Of Arrears To Put Mortgage On Hold

FC Balaga Tongo arrived to Garryduff last night with a full squad of 9 players and in a great run of form to go up against a formidable DouglasMortgage.ie side containing danger man Chen, scorer of 22 goals in 9 games this season. A tough task but one the Cucumbers were hungry to get past so they could get one step closer to the Division 1 title which is a real possibility for the Tongolese side.



The game kicked off with this formation which Balaga have become settled with in the last few weeks. As usual it took a few minutes up warm up into the game. Passes were made and passes were missed, as tackles flew in and Balaga struggled at the beginning to deal with Mortgages formation. But they did deal with it and when they broke forward, looked dangerous! Webz struck a fine daisy cutter from outside the box and it looked to be going in off the post but David W made sure as he swooooped in to make it 1-0, touching the ball in just inside the right post. This gave Balaga a bit of confidence and maybe over confidence as they put pressure on the opposition, but just when Balaga were at their most vulnerable as Broderick lost a contact and had to go off and JD had little time to get on, this was when Chen pounced breaking free down the right channel as O'Calllaghan looked to catch him at the edge of the box he cannoned the ball off Chen or the other way around and the ball went in past Damo. 1-1! Despite this setback the pressure continued on Mortgages goal with Webz, and Parker asserting themselves in midfield, and Hurley coming on in front to link them with ODriscoll . OCallaghan then made an interception in the left back position broke down the line and slipped the ball inside to O'Driscoll who silkily skipped passed the midfield and made space for himself to fire a rocket with his right which was blocked down - but OD kept his poise and placed a left foot shot past the flapping Mortgage stopper. 2-1! HALF TIME.

After catching their breath they lined up once again with one change, Webz coming off for Broderick and JD moving into midfield alongside Parker. More action ensued at both ends and the biggest blunder of the game came as Chen broke free again down the right channel and as he fired his shot across goal a covering OCallaghan swung a blatant arm at the ball to knock it over the bar. Although on retrospect the ball was going to go over anyway and ironically this is probably what kept him on the pitch instead of receiving an expected yellow and sin-binning. Chen put the resulting penalty low under Damo who got his direction right but couldn't get down quick enough. 2-2! Soon after this a Mortgage midfielder struck an unstoppable volley which went through the packed box and past Damo who probably didn't have much of a view. 2-3! Disaster but not the worst as OCallaghan was once again called up by the ref for a fowl, this time a few yards outside the balaga box. The free went low and just to the left of the 3-man wall and into the Cucumbers net. 4-2!

Balaga didn't deserve this scoreline and looked determined to prove it. Pushing forward again, with Broderick making runs from the back frequently to add to Mortgages troubles, the ball was kept in Douglas's half as corner after throw after corner were taken to no avail. But it was the ever instinctive Webz who got the third, the ball coming to him just inside the left side of the Mortgage box he did something un-orthodox with his new yellow left boot and it came off as the  ball crept through a balls width between post and keeper. 4-3! More substitutions were made by Balaga as they used their nine men as best they could. Another scramble in the box resulted in the equalizer as the ball flew over Webz'z shoulder facing away from the goal on the top left of the Mortgage box he caught it with a standing overhead kick and the ball looped into the far corner for the equalizing goal. 4-4! A mass pitch invasion followed and the final whistle came soon later but not before Broderick could pull off the greatest cheeky back heel this reporter has ever seen and David W missing a chance of the game rushing an effort and firing it wide after taking defender and goalkeeper out of the picture in a great move. A fair result on the night though, as no winner could be found at second time of trying for these two teams this season.

Unfortunately QEF won their game against the Tigers 5-4 to stay clear at the top by 2 from Ma Dulleas who got a clean 5-0 victory over a sliding Passage Rejects side. In the other game Abtran and Friars Walk played out a 5-5 draw. This leaves Balaga equal on points with Mortgages and in 4th position on goal difference, 4 points off leaders QEF.

With a week off next Wednesday for Patricks day celebrations it gives Balaga a chance to regroup and hopefully nobody will get any drunken or otherwise injuries during the break before they come back to play Friars Walk Celtic on the 24th. With almost as many goals scored as last seasons with only 8 games played and Parker due to break his worst goalscoring form for the club and with David W and Hurley hungry to impress and add to their goal tally's, things are looking good for FC Balaga Tongo in the second half of the season. Hopefully next time they won't get so fla'd by the ref either.

Team bonding at Cork City Foras's first home game in Turners cross on Friday night.
VIVA LA BALAGA.

Friday 5 March 2010

Rejects passage opened by cucumbers............ 11 times!!!

Gameweek 7 for the cucumbers and after last week’s terrific victory over MaDuleas moral was high. Passage Rejects were in a less than confident mood though as they came off the back of a 10-5 loss the previous week at the hands of douglasmortage. David W was back in the squad but Tristan’s ribs were still in a bad way so the team was:


Balaga really started this game in great form and at the half time mark had a healthy lead. Damo had little or nothing to do in goals. Although Passage had 1 or 2 handy players their all out attack attitude got them unstuck on more than one occasion. Damo, Tom  and Kev were still in search for that elusive first clean sheet and with help from Webz and Parker, it looked to be on the cards. Both tracked back whenever possible and along with JD and Whifty, the midfield looked rock solid defending and dangerous in attack. Phil once more had a stormer up front, although not getting on the score sheet as much as the previous weeks he was laying off some brilliant passes, unlocking the Rejects defence from which the midfield took full advantage. The final score of 11-1 proves as much!

Balaga Goals!!!!!!

1- A throw or cross from the right wing from Phil made the keeper rush out and attempt to grab the ball, only for JD to reach it first and bang it into the net! Protest from the Rejects didn’t convince the ref that their keeper had been fouled and the goal stood…

 2- Goal number 2 came from Webz. Scoring a rare right footer this season, from the left side he kicked a right footed across the keeper to nestle in the far corner.

3- Webz got his second of the night thanks to Phil pressurising the Passage defence; Webz talked it through at the post match interview: “they mess up and the it’s a race to the ball between me and the defender and I get a less than convincing touch on it but it goes in all the same”. A modest reflection on the goal, cause from where I stood it looked a classy finish!

4- Balaga’s forth came from the cucumbers striker Phil O’D, he managed to get free down the right wing and hammered the ball low and straight at the Rejects keeper who let it through his legs. 4-0.

5- David W popped up with Balagas 5th. Phil was put through one on one with keeper and unselfishly squared it to Dave about 5-10 yards out with an open goal. He took about 20-30 touches before hitting the onion back as Jimmy McGee once called it! 5-0. Later Balaga had a similar chance where Dave squared it to Kev who also took an age to take a shot allowing the Passage defender to walk back and clear it from the Balaga defenders foot, which proves it doesn’t matter how many touches it takes as long as its buried!

6- Webz  popped up with his hat-trick thanks to a Parker shots across goal. Webz: “I got a seedorf/zola flick on it and in”.

7- David W got number 7 after some dogged work id say. No one remembers the goal but he did get his 2nd of the night and Balaga’s seventh.

8-  Webzes 4th and Balaga’s 8th came from a Tom cross which finds Webz out the left one on one with the keeper who presumes the midfielder is going far post but placed  it near post. 8-0.

9- JD – an unknown beauty of a goal. So to fill space here’s Diego Maradona’s goal against England in 1986 - Héctor Enrique passed the ball to Maradona some ten metres inside his own half. Maradona then began his 60-metre, 10-second dash towards the English goal, passing four English outfield players – Hodge, Beardsley, Butcher and Fenwick. Maradona finished the move by dribbling round Shilton to make the score 2–0 to Argentina. About the goal, Maradona said, "I made the play to give it to Valdano, but when I got to the area they surrounded me and I had no space. Therefore, I had to continue the play and finish it myself." – ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh LEGEND!!!

10- Balaga’s 10th and Whifty’s hat-trick – “my goals, all of them, clinical finishing,nah my last one was one on one with the keeper, i think webz/duggan kicked a long balls, dribbled in to the goal, nice powerful right leg under the keepers legs...IM THE BEST KEEPER IN THE LEAGUE...not anymore kid!!!”. The rest i cant remember, it was all about the performance Dave W

11-  The final goal of the night came from the goal machine Webz – Tom took a  shot and it hit a Reject defender followed by Webz and into the Passage net.

A brilliant performance by all players involved and thanks to Douglas doing a job on MaDuleas the league is wide open again! The only downer for Balaga was the 1 goal conceded, and to rub salt into the defence and keepers wounds, it was an OG…… can’t remember who, but he’s got more than 1 this season.