"By the way – the new surface is really nice and soft so no more burns or sore knees the next day!"
News later broke on CNN that current captain Webz Kennedy would stay on for 2011:
Due to the popular demand of the fans Player/Manager Webz has revoked his resignation.
He had this to say '' Ah bais! Last season was last season and we are preparing for the future now. I've been very busy in the transfer market and things will be better. I'm on the verge of signing two quality players and unfortunately the club has had to part ways with Dickie Barret on mutual term. This will most likely be my last season as I have been offered an ambassador role in the club which will see me link up with former Player/Manager Tommy Pun O'Callaghan in Canada in an attempt to expand the franchise so let win this''
When asked was one of the prospects Ian ''Slats Chainsaw'' Slattery he replied '' no unfortunately talks have broke down with slats and he won't be joining us (in a full time capacity) but I wish him well in all he does. He is a great lad and has a future ahead of him''
When asked about the media black out he has imposed on club webz confirmed this has now been lifted. '' I will talk to the sporting director Kevin Broderick about get the reports sort and will be in contact with Ambassador Pun about getting Facebook access codes''
Finally '' I promise all the fans this year will be our year. We will take the title and wipe the smirk off Mortgage player Smirky McSmirkerson's shitty face.''
VIVA LA BALAGA
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