FC balaga Tongo - United

Tongo Lose 3rd match on the bounce... although the formation was changed to 2.1.2 balagas fortunes did not... scoring more goals but also conceding more than in previous games... lets hop e the can find the balance soon!

BALAGA BUS ROLLS OUT...

Well the boyz are off to oktoberfest... with only players bundy and webz left behind, the rest of FC balaga tongo has left for their german training camp in munich, germany...

Here they will face rigorous training so as they will get the nuts to get balls deep next week...

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Balaga short shorts

Balaga captain Kevin B has purchased a new pair of shorts after camera man Alan Tyrrell made a snide remark about the length of his old pair pre match, last week. This may have something to do with his performance but that’s all speculation. Mr Tyrrells exact comments were along the lines of “ehhhh, jeasus Kev, are you waring your jocks or wha leek”. The new shorts along with 2 new footballs will hopefully change Tongo’s run of bad luck so far this season.

Kickouts???

Although goal tender O'Flynn has been keeping the shots out this season there seems to be some confusion as to who is taking goal kicks for the mighty Tongo, with Broderick being called upon on more than one occasion...

Some pundits are claiming that this is stifling needed pressure on opposing teams... Will Bundy put the boot through it this week???

...Bundy, no wait Kevin makes the big kickout...

Further match analysis, Balaga Update and United game Preview...

...Balaga Tongo's second game gets underway...

Well as previously reported Balaga Tongo lost their second match 2-1 and now sit at the foot of the league table... A much more gutsy and professional performance was put in by the Balaga team and they were unlucky not to come away with at least a point... Here are some video highlights taken by a supporter... UNfortunately he was able to get a clip of FTC's goal from yards away which shows terrible tongo defending, although he did get a hazy shot of Blake shines 2nd goal of the season.






After the game (and the ensuing team gathering at alan and blake gaff)... Long drunken discussions were held between tactic boffins Kevin, Juggs and Tom... Joining the chase for coach Jose mourinho was decided against due to wage demands, with Tongos income from shirt sales and advertising currently at 83 cents the club decided to keep its player managers... Broderick suggested a new formation which he had been a part of in a local amateur 7 a side game... with the United game in mind the details of this super all out attack, solid a a rock defence, we are everywhere midfield type formation cannot be revealed and I for one think we should at least try to utilise the tactic in our third match this week.

...Kevin Showing off his flexibility...

A training session was held on Sunday evening where only Kevin Juggs and Tom were in attendance... as Bundy had ogame commitments, blake was drinking in Holland and Webz was no where to be found... Some corner drills were done as well as first touch and long range shooting practice... but mostly we just sweated out the weekends drink... carb and protien loading was done afterwards with a team big mac feast in mahhhhhhhhhhhhon point!



With all first team players fit and raring to go, Balaga must get some points on the board on Wednesday... With the upcoming Oktoberfest trip this weekend and 4 of the 6 players and both reserve players getting pissed in munich there will be little hope for the cucumbers in the game versus balls deep next week... although we all like to think we play better when hungover!!! or in webz's case drunk...

...Paul JUGGS Scott gets aggresive with the paparazzi...

All supporters dont forget to order the new balaga tongo t-shirt... now available to the public...!!!limited edition!!!

Balaga 1-2 FTC

Balaga's second match of the season started badly as again not one player managed to buy a football. A new member (Mickey Meade) joined the Tongo team as Phil O'D was shot down with “rain sore legs”. The defensive partnership of Tom O'C and Kevin B was reformed, and Webz was pushed upfront again. Blake and Juggs were giving the responsibility of linking the defense and attack. This was perhaps a bit much to ask of Paul as he had decided not to mention to the team the fact that he had guzzled down several bottles of lucazade before the game which slowed him up significantly, so much so that an FTC player ran through him within the first 10 minutes, leaving Juggs a dazed and bloated man. He left the action a few minutes later for sub Mickey, his debut for Balaga, and by his performance, the first of many.
Once again Balaga were the first to concede with a well taken goal by FTC, so much so that I cant remember it. All that I remember is that it wasn’t Kevin’s fault. Unusually heads didn’t drop and after tip off Balaga piled on the pressure with several shots from long distance. FTC’s keeper was having a blinder with 3 or 4 shots bouncing off him. Granted if any shot had been placed at either side of him it may have resulted in a goal, but with the Balaga striker curse still haunting Webz up front, it was never going to happen. It took a midfielder to draw the teams level with a fine cross by Webz from the right met by a rushing in Blake (Shin Shin) Shine. Two goals in two games for shin shin, not a bad return from a midfielder.
The lead however didn’t last long as FTC upped the pressure again. Tom’s injury didn’t seem to be hindering him as he began to tackle with his trademark rough but I got the ball ref style. It was obvious Kevin hadn’t been out on a 4 day binder this week as his fitness seemed to have improved, so much so that he ran forward on more than one occasion. Perhaps he should have stayed back though as soon afterwards FTC got the second. A sucker punch to the Tongo midriff, who really appeared to be the better team. With seconds to go before half time the cucumbers Mickey made a break, with Webz down the right and Kevin down the left in support. A long range shot from Mickey was not liked by Kevin, who was glad that the half time whistle was blown, so he wouldn’t have to sprint back to his position.
The second half started much the same as the previous week, with Balaga exerting the pressure. Blake was coming more and more into the match and Webz was a constant plague to the FTC defenders, taunting them to foul him. The defenders failed to fall for the bait and Balaga had to try other tactics to try and break down the stubborn defense. Shot after shot was rained down on the FTC goal mouth but no goal. That was until about 10 minutes remaining when Balaga got a throw in deep into the FTC half. It was taken by Shin Shin who aimed it in the direction of Tom O’C. He appeared to get a touch on it to send it past the keeper and into the net for Balaga’s second. Joy was short lived however as the ref claimed it had touched nobody.
Several other chances were created by both teams and cucumbers keeper Bundy was forced into a couple of saves and saw one shot fly by him and hit the Balaga crossbar but other than that few other incidents occurred. A better display by Balaga really should resulted in at least a draw. This 2nd loss in 2 weeks however leaves Tongo routed to the bottom of the table, all in all a poor start to the campaign.

Official FC Balaga Tongo Lyrics

The song was originally penned for the World Cup in Germany for publicity purposes, but has made great strides in Ireland, eventually reaching No.1 in the charts. The lyrics themselves were co written by none other than Eurovision idol Johnny Logan and Paul Scott. However, the song was most memorably known for Tom O'Callaghan's impressive rusty vocals.


Balaga, balaga tongo,
we're so good we make ya go, bongo.
Balaga, balaga tongo,
we dont need, rigobert, rigobert songo.
Balaga, balaga tonogo,
we're so shit hot, its oh so wrongo.
oh balagaaaa oh balaga, oh balaga balaga balaga tongooooooo

Chorus
Raaaaaay Houghtooooon, wooooh waaaay ooooooooh x4 times


It has been widely rumoured that after the season is finished the team will go on tour with a string of unreleased material.

Balaga Tongo 1-5 Sober Lane

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Match Report - minute by minute

1st - Balaga win the toss and Phil OD passes the ball straight to the opposition. He was asked to pass the ball tonight, but seemed to miss understand what his teammates meant.
3rd - Sober Lane start well and put Balaga under pressure straight away.
7th - Kevin bowls Blake aside to clear the ball.
10th - GOAL!!! Sober Lane score a goal, unknown to the ref who was busy listening to his radio.
11th - Balaga start off better this time and pass the ball to another 1 of their own players from tip off.
14th - Bundy pulls off some good saves.
15th - GOAL!!! Balaga's 1st goal of the season, great goal scored by Blake (Shin Shin) Shine. Set up by Webz.
20th - Bundy concedes a series of corners and is shouted at by the captain Kevin, who in turn is asked by Phil OD to shut up. Kevin's blood boils and marks Phils card.
21st - Kevin hits the fitness wall, due to 4 days of drinking up in Sligo at the weekend.
22nd - Paul comes close with a shot.
24th - GOAL!!! Sober Lane scored a goal from a corner.
27th - Ref blows his whistle for the first time in the match.
30th - Ref blows his whistle for the 2nd time for half time.



...Video Highlights...

30th - A series of boos begin the 2nd half after Lane fail to pass Balaga the ball from tip off.
36th - Balaga start well with shots from Paul, Blake, Phil and Webz.
40th - Webz seems to have picked up the Tongo striker curse. Just like Red the previous season, he misses some howlers.
45th - Ref blows the whistle for Sober Lane hand ball, and shouts "wrong sport, its not sunday lads".
46th - Ref blows the whistle for Sober Lane hand ball, and shouts "wrong sport, its not sunday lads".
47th - Ref blows the whistle for Sober Lane hand ball, and shouts "wrong sport, its not sunday lads".
48th - Ref blows the whistle for Balaga hand ball, and shouts "wrong sport, its not sunday lads"... no one laughs.
50th - GOAL!!! A break away by Lane results in a goal.
52th - Paul gets a ruch of blood to the head and runs around like a headless chicken, making some good tackles.
53rd - GOAL!!! A break away by Lane results in a goal.
54th - Kevin makes a last ditch tackle from a Lane break away, and flattens Sober Lanes small skinny forward in the process, not for the first time. He turns and shouts at the four players walking back from midfield.
56th - GOAL!!! A break away goal by Lane results in a goal.
59th - Bundy pulls off a good save to top off a good performance.
60th - Ref blows the final whistle.

...turned out to be a busy night for keeper O'Flynn...
(click for full size)

Balaga Team Sheet for 1st Match

Early news on the Balaga team for tonights match, from a source close to the team:


GK - Bundy(Juggs, Kevin, Blake, Webz and maybe Phil if he not fit)

DF - Kevin Broderick
DF - Paul (Juggs) Thomas Scott

MF - Blake (Shin Shin) Shine
MF - Webz

F - Phil OD

(click for full size)

Seen here pictured with loyal supporter Alan T is 1st reserve Philly O'dea. He has been called upon to fill in up front for Tom and make up the starting 6!

O'Callaghan out of Sober Lane game...

Confirming last nights report,

On the last day of pre-season O' Callaghan has torn his left quadricep... In a freak skim boarding accident his leg was hyper extended, his morning his fears were realised and had to rule himself out of the first game.

(click for full size)

Hopefully it is a short road to recovery for the defender...

Allez les cucombre.

REPORT: Tongo suffer Pre-season blow?

***BREAKING NEWS***

On the eve of the opening game of the season, one part of the rock that is the balaga tongo has been struck down with an injury.

The injury occured in a freak accident while on the beach, a fellow balaga tongo team mate was at the scene with him and luckily went uninjured.

The identity of the injured party will remain undisclosed as so no advantage will be obtained by the opposing team, which is FC Sober Lane.

A short term loan signing is immenient and should be announced in due course ....

reported by Bundy.

EXCLUSIVE NEW TRAINING TOP!!!

As we are perched, good to go, on the starting line of a new campaign, FC Balaga Tongo management has dipped into the coffers for new casual kit... these will be limited to the 6 first team players... print on a rich cotton knit...

VIVA LA BALAGA!!!

(click for full size)

but dont worry all you balaga supporters more designs will be released shortly to satisfy demand!

Game schedule released!!! all games at 2100hrs... Balaga face minnows sober lane in season opener!

Date		Venue			Opposition
Wed 12/9		CIT2			F.C Sober Lane
Wed 19/9		CIT3			FTC
Wed 26/9		CIT4			United
Wed 3/10		CIT1			Balls Deep F.C.
Wed 10/10		CIT1			slb
Wed 17/10		CIT4			Pathetico Madrid
Wed 24/10		CIT3			The Beer Bellies
Wed 31/10		CIT2			F.C Sober Lane
Wed 7/11		CIT3			FTC
Wed 14/11		CIT4			United
Wed 21/11		CIT1			Balls Deep F.C.
Wed 28/11		CIT1			slb
Wed 5/12		CIT4			Pathetico Madrid
Wed 12/12		CIT3			The Beer Bellies

REPORT: Bundy goes cold turkey...

Getting Lean for the new season is a big concern for new team member Alan O'Flynn... he claims:













"going to avoid cakes, hillbillys, chips, chocolate, coke and various other foodstuff during the Balaga Tongo Season.... Christ it's going to be TOUGH"

2007 SQUAD ANOUNCEMENT...

Kevin Broderick...

A Fierce Defender, his tackling at the back and his communication skills on the pitch are second to none... He also has a wicked strike of the ball and in his early career was compared to Luis Figo... Had a spell as goal tender in Balagas first season when he conceded numerous own goals.









Paul "JUGGS" Scott...

Tireless midfield soldier... With the aggression of a Cork man and the soul of a Mayo man, Juggs brings strength to the midfield pairing... Has been known to take his chance if the ball falls to his feet, although these chances are often not converted.









Tom O Callaghan...

Completing the defence partnership, Lanky O' Callaghan compliments Broderick at the back... Susceptible to lurching forward runs leaving tongo open to counter attack. Playing in his second season here he should know his position better and hopefully high oppositions scores such as 12 wont be seen again this year.








Alan "BUNDY" O' Flynn...

A late signing, Bundy was brought in to add strength to the team, although a bit of an unknown quantity as his career has been in hiatus for a few years Balaga Tongo have fate in the Bundmann... brought in to score goals and to keep clean sheets he could prove to be a big player this season.









Blake "SHIN SHIN" Shine...

The Latino Midfielder come keeper is another new signing for the 07 season... bringing an air of fitness to the midfield and hopefully safe hands if called upon to keep goal, Balaga Tongo has big expectations for Mr shine and he better not let them down.









Eoghan "WEBZ" Kennedy...

This nifty Attacking genius was brought in under the noses of Scunthorpe Utd who were also keen on his signature... replacing Eoin Fogarty aka RED, Webz has the creativity up front to bring trophys to Balaga and hopefully entertain the fans!!! has been known to have an addiction to dutch gold but management are sure this wont affect his game.

Quick History...

"Established in the summer of 2006, this club went on to play in the astro.ie league. After a poor start, middle and end, Balaga Tongo ended up a satisfactory 2nd place..from bottom. Highlights from the season were drawing with the team in 2nd place and the numerous scuffles we had on the pitch.

The 2007 season begins on Sept 12. Management are excited about this season as the summer signings brought in look to eager to win. The club will retain the green colours. A Russian consortium had made it their plan to take over Balaga Tongo also during the summer, and a name change was on the cards. However Balaga Cucumbers did not get 100% commitment and now the clubs nickname is "The Cucumbers" after the eh green jerseys."

quoted from Paul Scott, veteran player and member of management FC balaga tongo.

There is not much to add to Pauls description, but the 2006 squad consisted of...

-Beazer... (did not have the heart to fight for the mighty balaga and moved on in early season)
-Darryl... (joined late in the season)
-Eoin Fogerty... (moved on to a full time position in Clonmel)
-Hoggy... (presently on tour down under)
-Jamie... (solid player, lost contact)
-Paul Scott... (present member)
-Kevin Broderick... (present member)
-Tom O Callaghan... (present member)
-Willie Power... (retired to home town in Waterford)



Philip OD, and Eoghan kennedy also made fleeting appearances to cover injurys.